Confession

Lucky ₃₃ was angry at the world’s timid rule-followers and counted himself among the 'anti-prissy.'

By Lucky ₃₃

Confession

His personal ‘disgust threshold’ was—and always will be—pretty low. These ‘benighted' people needed to have their 'complacencies' rattled—as an artist—he was 'meant' to take up that risk—defy the censors—search out and assault 'social norms'—a ‘heroic transgressor' mythology he eventually came to see—which definitely had its little vanities and its 'occlusions.'

Even his origin story was ‘dodgy’—aggression was inseparable from his personality—its attendant idiocies embedded within his ‘unknowing’ of which lines ‘not to cross.’ Treating the boundaries of less powerful people as minor annoyances made him feel like a ‘creative genius’—like a rockstar. He measured his success in ‘outrage generated.’ He was no one’s victim—bottled-up traumatic memories had to be ‘manumitted’—‘sublimating’ aggression into art was what made him feel alive—potentially ‘transcendent.’ Sometimes it was painful—so he pored over diagnosis of his insouciant pathologies—prescribed himself curatives—looking for ‘backdoors’ to a release.

He didn’t at the time ponder his ‘innumerable’ routines, episodes—his real-life experience—but was overly self-aware! For one thing—it wasn’t clear—for whom an ‘extrasensory perception’ was bestowed—‘what’ force evoked such feelings of ‘extreme uncertainty’ and ‘self-consciousness.’ Sometimes he felt fulfilled and stimulated by the interaction—at other times it exacerbated his persisting syndrome of shock, confusion, panic, euphoria, anxiety—however—it was ‘still possible’ to be ‘ironic’ by offending people—because offended people were generally regarded as 'morons.' He was the rebellious, ‘anti-establishment one'—gleefully offending, extolling the ‘virtues’ of everyone—disrupting the status quo.

He even ‘intimates’ that it was the ‘trigger warnings’ of all the ‘contradictory’ emotions and the roles they played in his ‘failure of friendships’ that made his ‘persona non grata.’ However he draws his ‘casualty arrows’—there’s no doubt the more fun he started having—the more earnestly 'humorless’ he could speak of the ‘pedagogy of discomfort’—which was concentrated on the unsettling ‘failures’ to become ‘acquainted’ with anyone. Especially ‘problematic’ for the younger him—every routine was antagonistic—everyone examined for ‘transgressions.’ It put him on the ‘wrong side of exchange’ in the electromagnetic fields—the magnetism was turned back upon himself and the other—the result—an ‘instinctive antipathy.’

What's left out of this ‘anti-transgression story’ are the rewards of feeling ‘affronted’—all in good cause of course! Witness the new gatekeeper and moral entrepreneur— wielding not insignificant amounts of ‘social power’ while decrying his own ‘powerlessness.’ He used to know what transgression was—but that’s not plausible anymore—maybe ‘violating boundaries’ was a more valuable enterprise—the ‘disruption’ of which would prove beneficial.

Cody Leeder Lucky ₃₃ Joker
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